Magnificent Monday-Recalibrate Your Life





Already this morning I've seen the "Manic Monday" and other posts about how horrible Monday is for some. This always baffles me because I look at Monday as the beginning and a perfect opportunity to decide what kind of week you are going to have. I look at is as a perfect time to calibrate your week.

I know it's the first day after the weekend but that is the perfect time to move past your previous week and start over on your goals and desires. Maybe you didn't get done all that you wanted to get done in the previous week; Monday is a perfect day to decide to finish it. Maybe you experienced some challenges in the previous week or over the weekend; Monday is a perfect day to move past those challenges. It's a perfect day to decide that you are going to have a productive week. It's a perfect day to decide that you are not going to have the same kind of day or week that those around are you are having. It's a perfect day to decide that YOU are going to live the life that you want to live.

 If you have traditionally dreaded Monday and looked at it as the worst day of your life, I implore you to recalibrate and change your outlook on Monday. It's the beginning, a clean slate and you and only you get to decide how your week is going to go. Regardless of how those around you are behaving, choose to be happy today. Choose to be in peace today. Choose to be an example of what Monday can really be.

In luv and dessert,

Leisa Monique


Photo source: weightwatchers.com


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Dolce Far Niente


I'm so excited y'all! I have been working on a project that is very close to my heart for the past few weeks and I'm thrilled to say that it is in the final stages of completion. It's a compilation of inspirational "desserts" to inspire you in the new year and I'm publishing it as an ebook.  I have never done anything like this before but I wanted to give you something to inspire you to greatness in this new year and it is what I came up with. The post for today is an excerpt from the ebook. I hope you enjoy it. I'll publish more details on the ebook and how you can get your copy in the very near future. In the meantime, please enjoy this post. 




Sometimes... "Nothing" is much better than "Something.”
Arafath Shanas

Recently, I watched the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” again. In the movie one of the characters points out that the Italians have a saying “Dolce Far Niente” which means “The Sweetness of Doing Nothing.” How did I miss this all the other times I watched this movie? Taking time to sit in silence, watch the sunrise, the sunset, and still my mind and spirit have always been important to me. This is how I prefer to spend my days. Many people in my circle often ask me “what do you DO all day?” You see, I have the pleasure of working from home and doing exactly what it is that I want to do which is writing, reading, teaching, training, consulting and going to school full time. I chose my life and I chose to give up whatever would hinder me from having this life. I have let go of the expectations that the world has for me; the expectation that says I should always be striving to do more, have more, be more. I'm perfectly OK with taking time out of my day to do absolutely nothing without guilt or shame. I work hard for my clients. I work hard in school and I work hard to take care of my children. I also make sure that I take time to do one of my favorite things: nothing.
I encourage you to take time out of your day to do nothing. Take time to sit and enjoy the beauty that surrounds you and the beauty that is you. It may feel uncomfortable at first because we are programmed to always be doing something lest we be considered lazy. This way of thinking is what has us in the state of poor physical and mental health that we are in. Let go of that thinking and allow yourself the pleasure of just being and doing nothing.

In luv and dessert, 
Leisa Monique



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Fabulous New Year To You






Wishing all of you around the world a New Year filled with the realization of how beautiful you are, luv for yourself, understanding of your power, use of your creativity, and knowledge of who you are. 

In Luv and Dessert, 

Leisa Monique
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Welcome and Thank You



I want to take a moment to welcome all of you new readers and to tell you all that read my work Thank You. It means so much to me to know that people all over the world are reading this work. My desire is to make a difference in the lives of everyone who shares my work with me and to let you know that you are already everything you desire to be. I want to let you know that you are valuable and worthy of everything you desire. I want you to know that you are perfect as you are in this very moment. Accept who you are and luv who you are. But also accept who you are not because even in that you are perfect.





Photo credit: thebiggive.org.uk
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Treasure



Yesterday was one of the most challenging days of my life. After an accident that sent a pedestrian to the hospital I began to question a lot. I felt absolutely awful about what happened and kept wondering why did it happen in the first place. I have learned that life gives us experiences that we need in any given moment for our growth and evolution but I gotta tell you, this one sent my mind wondering and even feeling a little down.

In my meditation this morning I was reminded of who I AM: Luv. I was reminded of all of the times that I have demonstrated luv including at the scene of the accident yesterday which turned out to be a tremendous blessing mostly because of the people that I met. During my meditation, this tune erupted in my Spirit and once again, I was reminded of who I AM: a Treasure of the Divine.

 I want to remind you that no matter what happens in our daily lives we are luv'd. Don't allow the events of daily life to cause you to question who you are at your core. We all are presented with challenges and sometimes make decision that causes us to wonder "what the hell was I thinking," but none of that changes who we are at our core.

We are human and in our humanness we don't always do things the way we think we should. But just be reminded that inherent in every challenge or problem lies the solution or the answer. Look there. For surely you will find your treasure.


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Fabulous Thanksgiving To You!




“Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life, be thankful for whatever you have, some people may not even have one of those things you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc). Each day give thanks for the gift of life.You are blessed” 
 Unknown

"If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get."
Frank A. Clark 




Good morning desserters. To all of my American friends, I wish you a wonder-filled Thanksgiving today. For all of my friends in other parts of the world that don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I wish you a day of joy, peace, awareness, gratitude and consciousness. Know that I am thankful for each of you.  May you continue to see the blessing in YOU and may you always recognize your worth and value.

In gratitude,

Leisa Monique


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Where The Girls Are-The Missing Voices of Women of Color In...Everything

One aspect of myself that I don't often reveal here on the blog, is my passion for writing about the missing voices of women of color in mainstream media. I don't necessarily identify with feminism (perhaps because I haven't found a stream of feminism that my belief system fits into), but I do have much to say about how women, particularly women of color, are viewed  by and represented (or not) in feminism.

Here, two of my most favorite voices in this work sit down for a discussion on some of the topics I'm most passionate about. This is a treat for ALL women and I do hope you will watch and listen and then send me your comments and questions so that we can continue the discussion.

Leisa

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Good Morning Beautiful!


This gem came through my Facebook feed this morning and it reminded me of YOU! Fabulous morning to all of you! Make this a day that you will never forget! Make it Beautiful! 





Leisa Monique
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What About Your Freedom


“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can't be any large-scale revolution until there's a personal revolution, on an individual level. It's got to happen inside first.” 
― Jim Morrison

“Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free.” 
― Paulo Coelho




I don't think I need to say much more! It's Monday, embrace your freedom to decide what kind of week you will have. Don't allow anyone or anything to dictate how your day, your week or your life will go. Know and be who you are. And above all else, take time to enjoy the "desserts" of life...first!

Leisa Monique
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Transition-Where You Were And Where You Are Going

"A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no mater what it is; Once you do, you can learn about he new world you're in and take advantage of it.
Nikki Giovanni 


“When I was going through my transition of being famous, I tried to ask God why was I here? Surely, it wasn't just to win three gold medals. There has to be more to this life than that! 
Wilma Rudolph

I tear up as I write this. Yet again, I'm at a point of transition in my life and though I'm usually excited about the process of transition and look forward to what's on the other side, this time I'm just tired. I feel like I've been in a perpetual transition for the past 5 years of my life. I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted and frankly I just want this shit to be over.

I know that for those of you who follow this blog regularly this may be a bit unusual to hear from me. But if you remember I always said that I would be transparent and share my own experiences with you so when I'm "going through" you get to read about it. I actually have been a bit absent from the blog for a while and for that I apologize. When I get to this point I tend to withdraw so that I can "hear" and get direction.

You guys know that I am a firm believe that life gives us exactly what we need at the moment we need it in order for us to grow and evolve from where we are to where we will be. I have always embraced that and trusted in the process. There is something different for me this time: there is so much frustration that I can hardly focus on the process and what this experience is here to help me do. I'm even a bit angry-at whom I'm not so sure. Ego has set in and I haven't even engaged in my usual morning "dessert" practices of meditation, exercise, dancing and all the other stuff I usually do.

I have the greatest kids a mother could ask for though. They know me so well and can "feel" when I'm in this place. They tend to gather around me quietly as if to show their luv and support. They give me lots of hugs, cook for me and just offer their love. I appreciate that and the point is that we need support when we are experiencing transition. My close friends also "feel" this place I'm in. They call, send an encouraging text message but most of all they just let me BE.

And that is exactly what I have decided to do: to just BE and allow the beauty of this transition to unfold in front of me. I  AM releasing my resistance to it. I AM letting go of the fear of lack and not being able to provide for my family. I AM returning to my center of "knowing" and trusting that all is in Divine order because it is.

What I know for sure is that I AM luv'd and supported. I know that I AM not in this process alone but that the Divine Universe is with me every step of the way. I AM opening myself back up to what this experience has come to show me and I AM embracing it. This was not an easy thing to do as the frustration of being here (again) was almost overwhelming. But I know that all is well even when I feel like it's not I know that it is.

What does transition look like for you and how do you get through it? Do you have practices in place to support yourself? Whatever you do please remember that you are not your experience. Know that there is something wonder-filled in the process of transition. Embrace it and embrace where you will be on the other side. Oh, and don't forget (or abandon) your "Dessert" in all of this. It will be what gets you through to the other side!
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Magnificent Monday-Choose Freedom






My theme for this week is Freedom-freedom from judging...myself or others! I find it quite amazing that we as humans so often criticize each other for the way that we handle the circumstances of life. We look at others and how they deal with situations or issues and make judgments about their character because they handle a particular situation different than the way we would handle it. Who ever said we are "right?" We often impose our  standards onto others (often unconsciously) and when they do something differently than the way we would do it we are quick to judge.

Often, people's life experiences determine how we handle what comes our way on a daily basis. Because we all have different experiences that make us who we are, we will all handle things differently. That doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It's just different! Luv is allowing others to be who they are and handle life the way THEY would handle it and not the way YOU would handle it AND not criticizing them for it.

Free yourself this week! Free yourself from criticism and judgment of yourself and others. Allow yourself and others the space to evolve and grow from every situations that presents itself in your life this week. Give yourself permission to be who you are. Embrace every aspect of your personality for it makes you who you are! And resolve to have a great week no matter what comes your way!

As always, have a Magnificent Monday!
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Please Don't Wish Me A Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day. This is a post that I originally posted last year for Father's Day. I hope you enjoy it. Share your thoughts! 



"Happy Father's day to all the single mothers out there!" A sentiment we hear so much on Father's day and one that I personally believe is detrimental.  I myself have received a few text messages today wishing me a happy father's day and I cringe at the thought of getting them. Although there are many single and divorced mother's out there fulfilling the duties of their role as a mother and the role of father to their children they will never be a father!

I certainly understand the desire to congratulate and offer support to the many heroic women who are raising children on their own but more often than not this sentiment is used to disparage men who are not actively involved in their children's lives. Although I am a divorced mother of four I understand that I am my children's  mother and not their father. I understand that I will never be their father I will only be their mother. I make sure that my children understand this and never will I allow them to wish me a happy father's day because I  sometimes fulfill the duties of both roles.

When women take on the role of being mother and father many times they start to believe that they don't need a man in the house to help raise their children. True, there are many single women who are raising and have raised stable successful children but nothing can take the place of children having a father in the home. Fathers are needed in the home but because many women have taken on this "I don't need a man" attitude they are not even open to the possibility of allowing a man to come in and be a part of their family. And why should they when they have been made to believe that they are both the mother and father and the presence of a man is not necessary in the lives of them and their children.

For little girls seeing this they too begin to believe that it is not necessary to have a man in the home to raise children. They see mama doing it and they often don't learn the skills necessary to have a stable successful relationship with a man and build a family. They see their mother with children but they don't see a man involved in those children's lives and the cycle is perpetuated. For little boys, the message is that I can have babies but I don't need to be involved in raising those babies because their mother can do it on her own. Their value as a future husband and father is diminished as they too see their mother raising her children on her own and being praised for it and neither do they learn the necessary skills to build a stable successful relationship with a woman. They also don't learn the value of being a father and being a part of the lives of their women and children.

Children deserve to have a mother and a father in their lives whether their parents are still married or divorced or they are being raised by an unwed mother. Just because their parents may no longer be together doesn't mean that they have to lose the presence of their father or someone else who is willing to fulfill the role of father in their lives. Mother's should be mothers and understand that they can and never will be fathers. I believe that one of  the best gifts a mother can give to her children is to speak well of her children's father even if their father is not actively present in their lives. Words spoken highly of their father to children often give children a sense of respect for him and I believe that the goal should always be to build respect even if in the mind of the mother he doesn't deserve it.

So to all of the mothers out there that are raising children on their own I take my hat off to you but please, help your children understand the importance of having a father in their lives by just being their mother.


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Repost-A Mother's Vision




When I was a little girl my mother shared a story with me that forever impacted my life. It is a story that she still tells me to this very day and it is a story that I refer to whenever I am experiencing challenges in my life and when I have been tempted to throw in the towel.

She tells me that one day when I was a  baby she was at the train station waiting to board a train from San Bernardino to Los Angeles. She was holding me in her arms enjoying her day and an old lady walked past her. She said that as the lady passed her she stopped and turned around and walked over to where my young mother was sitting holding me. She smiled at my mother and said "That is a very special baby that you have. She is going to do great things in her life!" My mother smiled back and said "thank you" and the lady continued on her way.

There have been times in my life when I have faced what seemed to be insurmountable challenges none of which I will go into in this post. But during those times I would always remember my mothers words to me about what the lady shared with her about my life. Throughout my life my mother instinctively knew when I was experiencing those challenges and  needed to hear that story. She would always call me and tell it to me all over again as if for the first time. It has gotten me through some pretty rough times and continues to drive me even today. 

I am grateful that my mother has held that vision for me all these years and she continues to do so. I don't even think she knows how much of an impact that it has had on my life all these years. 

To all of the mothers that are holding a vision of greatness for your children keep holding that vision for your children! Tell it to them often and let them know that they are destined to do great things. When they find themselves dealing with circumstances that are undesirable they will have their mother's vision to fall back on and remind them to keep moving forward. 

I don't know how I would have gotten through the rough times in my life had it not been for my mother's luv and her continuing to tell me that story.  The beautiful thing is that I will never have to know!

Wishing all of you a very happy Mother's day! And while you are holding that vision for your children please also remember the vision for your own life! Remember that you too are meant to do great things in this lifetime! Whatever your dream is, whatever your life's desire is hold on to that dream and don't let it go! For it was given to you with a purpose! 
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Your Gift To Me, My Gift To You!



Fabulous morning to you EMDF family! Yesterday was my Earth/birthday and it was a most fabulous day! I have opened myself up and allowed the Divine to luv me. I have graciously accepted every gift that was offered to me without resistance. This may not sound like a big deal but you know how it is when you like to be the one giving but have a hard time allowing anyone to do anything for you? Yep, that's me. It's so hard sometimes to allow others to give to me but I have learned that when you don't allow others to give to you you rob them of the joy and satisfaction they feel from being the giver. We block the flow of abundance when we don't allow others to do their part by not receiving their gifts. 

So, in order not to block the flow I got out of the way and graciously accepted every Divine gift that was offered to me. It felt marvelous to be luv'd by so many. Family, you are so deserving of the luv that the Divine has for you so open yourself and receive it. Allow the people that have been placed in your life to operate in their gifts and let them luv you. 

In my tradition I am continuing my earthday celebration through the weekend and I want to celebrate with YOU!  I would like to continue the celebration by giving you a gift but I need something from you.  if you will, please write a comment on this post and let me know how this blog has inspired you. If there has been anything that you have read here that has helped, comforted or inspired you please let me know that in your comment. That will be your gift to me. My gift to you will something special from me. It may be a written piece, a photo or something else that I am inspired to give you but it will be something inspired by the Divine. 

Also, please leave an email address where I can reach you. If you don't feel comfortable posting this information you can email me at: leisa@eatmydessertfirst.com. I am excited about this and I look forward to reading your comments. 

Leisa Monique
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Magnificent Monday-Lift Your Head




It's Monday, my favorite day of the week and I tell you life woke me up early this morning; earlier than I like to wake up. I had so many things on my mind that I was a bit restless. I tossed and turned and tried to go back to sleep but sleep was not to be had. For once I was actually thankful for the recent time change because had we not moved our clocks forward the hour in which I woke up from sleep would have been ridiculous.

As I lay in bed anticipating all of the growth opportunities disguised as challenges that would present themselves today (See how we create stress for ourselves when none actually exists?)I asked myself: What would I say to all the people that follow me and my writing? What would I advise them to do in this situation? I decided to do what I would tell all of you to do and do something to nourish my Spirit: Eat My Dessert First! I prayed!

In my prayer I reminded myself that none of the things on my mind were actually happening  but that I was only thinking about what I thought would happen. I reminded myself that it was a beautiful Monday morning and that in that moment everything I needed I already had. I expressed gratitude for not only having all of my and my children's needs met but for the Spirit of gratitude.

In that moment a song came up in my Spirit, a song that I used to luv so very much but that I hadn't listened to in many years. It was a song that we used to sing when I was in the church choir and it nourished my soul every time I heard it. I searched for and found it on the internet and just like before it nourished my soul.

Listening to it reminded me that there was nothing that I needed to be worrying about. It reminded me of who I AM. I am listening to it as I write this and I can hardly sit still; I just want to get up and dance! I want to sing! I'm in Peace and all the concerns that wouldn't let me sleep this morning are gone. I know that there is nothing that can disturb my peace because I have everything that I need in this moment.

I'm grateful for this experience because it served as a reminder to me no matter what challenges I face I am already equipped to face them. It reminded me that no matter what the challenge is that presents itself the solution is within the challenge and I just have to sit in stillness and wait for the solution to emerge.

I am including this song for you this morning. Listen to it. Allow the words to nourish your soul and Spirit. Lift your head no matter what challenges you are facing today. Know that you are well equipped to face them and that everything you need you already have within you. Remember that the challenges we are presented with are just what we need in that moment and that is has come for our growth.

Wishing you a most Magnificent Monday of peace, luv and growth. Enjoy your day and as always, Eat Your Dessert First!

Leisa Monique


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Magnificent Monday-Celebrate Your Own History



As we celebrate Women's History Month I hope that you will take a moment to celebrate your own history! Yes, YOUR history. Often we look at others that have made an impact on the world and think that we could never have such an impact. People like Oprah Winfrey, Marianne Williamson, Rosa Parks, Sojourner Truth, Hillary Clinton have all made their mark on the world and have created a legacy that will be talked about long after they have left this earth.

But what I want you to know is that YOU have left and impact as well and are creating YOUR legacy. Perhaps you don't think so but there is someone somewhere that you have encouraged, uplifted or been an example to whether you know it or not. If you smiled at someone or held a door open, gave someone a ride when they were walking or just showed kindness to someone then you have played a part in making this world a better place. Someone will remember you and the kindness you showed them. That is your history.

You don't have to be the first woman in space or the youngest or the first female CEO to make history. You simply have to decided to live your purpose and that will impact all you come in contact with.

I encourage you to take some time today and reflect on your accomplishments and the impact that you have had on those around you. Understand that you are making history whether you know it or not. What will people say about you when you are no longer in their presence? That is a question I hope you will ask yourself and then set an intention to leave a lasting impression and make your mark on the world.
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Cherish The Day, Cherish your-SELF


Good morning Desserters! It's a most fabulous Friday and although there have been some growth opportunities disguised as challenges (this was a tough week) it was a great week! I experiences some frustrations and shed some tears but when it was all said and done I know that everything I experienced was for my good. I know that now (and knew it then) but it was challenging to rely on that during the experience.

 I trust that as you experienced any challenges this past week that you too remembered that during it all you were growing and evolving. I trust that you were not critical of yourself but supported and luv'd yourself through it all. Whether you did or didn't you are here! Take a moment to reflect on your week and acknowledge your victories and accomplishments. Take some time to cherish and enjoy this beautiful day and your beautiful self!

Go out and do something nice for yourself and for others that cross your path today. Offer a smile to someone, offer a compliment, hold open a door, buy someone a coffee at the coffee shop or have yourself some dessert in the middle of the day. Not only will you will make someone's day but you will  make your day as well!

In dessert,

Leisa
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Repost-Magnificent Monday-The Teacher That Is Close By

Magnificent Monday to you all! I trust that you have taken this beautiful Monday morning to set the tone for the rest of your week. I trust that you have decided that no matter what today or the rest of this week brings to you, you will face it with the courage of a spiritual warrior and trust that it has come because it is what you need in that moment. 

I am reposting a previous piece that I wrote because as I meditated on what to share with you today it kept coming up. The message is precisely what I wanted to share with you and I saw no need to write something else when this piece is perfect. Enjoy it...again!! 

Leisa Monique




I'm a firm believer that there is nothing or no one that comes into our lives that shouldn't be there at the moment which they appear. Whether in the form of homelessness, unemployment, health issues, relationship issues, family issues or people, I believe that what shows up in our lives is exactly what we need in that moment to evolve and grow and to move to our next level.

Upa Guru is a Sanskrit word that is translated " The teacher that is close by." Anyone or anything can serve as your Upa Guru and they come to offer us exactly what it is that we are to learn from their being there. It is up to us to accept the lesson they have come bearing.

There are certain situations or "challenges" that life brings us that not only would we rather not go through, but some of us consider them attacks concocted by the "devil" himself to try and take us out. Now whether you believe in the "devil" is another story and not the point of this post.The point is that once we change our perspective on what is happening in our lives and see it as our Upa Guru, we will be able to find peace in what we are going through.

What you are facing at this moment in your life has been Divinely crafted just for you. It's your journey. And what you encounter on each step of your journey is bringing you closer to the destiny that you were created to fulfill. You have been equipped for this journey and there is nothing that you face that you are not already able to handle. Inherent in every problem that you encounter is the solution waiting to emerge. But it's up to you to use the gifts, the talents and the skills that you posses to discover it.

The people and situations that you encounter on this journey are there simply to help these gifts, talents and skills that are within you to emerge. They are there to support your evolution. No matter what you think of these people or situations, they have come to assist you on your way to greatness. They may irritate you, hurt you or anger you but understand that they are ultimately there to help you. They are your Upa Guru, your teacher and when the lesson is learned they return to being what they were before.

No matter what it is that you are currently experiencing understand that it is exactly what you need in this moment to evolve. It is here for your highest good. I encourage you to embrace your Upa Guru, to go within and find out what they have come to teach you. I understand that this process is not easy as most of us are conditioned to resist the challenges that present themselves. We are not taught that challenges are opportunities in disguise. But the moment you change your thinking about your current circumstances is the moment that you will begin to find peace, joy and happiness in what you are experiencing.

When challenges show up ask yourself "what is this here to teach me? What am I to learn from this and how do I evolve from this." As difficult as it may be for you to do, drop your resistance and accept the moment as it is and not what you want it to be. Instead of looking at it as a problem look at is as your Upa Guru that has come to move you forward. don't try to force an outcome or change the situation as that can cause more frustration, sadness and even depression because you are not getting the desired results of your efforts. Instead,  just accept is as it is and trust that all is in Divine order and that you have everything you need in this moment. You will be thankful that you did.
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Be Wonder-Full

“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don`t fit into boxes.” 
― Tori Amos


“Don't you know how sweet and wonderful life can be?” 
― Marvin Gaye


“Life is about taking what's given to us and creating something wonderful.” 
― Belinda JeffreyOne Long Thread




Be ever, be ever wonderful, stay as you are, alrightTime is right in your life tonightFind your place in the broad day light, yeahOoh, stay as you are~ Earth, Wind & Fire

The word "Wonderful or "Wonder-Full" (full of wonder) as I like to say is what filled my mind and Spirit last night and this morning during meditation. I think about the wonder of creation and of us all and I simply wanted to tell you all to BE your wonder-full selves. Earth, Wind and Fire says it best so please enjoy the video above. 

In our society we are conditioned to think that we have to be DO-ing something in order to be valuable but don't you know that you are valuable just because you are here?! You are already magnificent and wonder-full. You don't have to DO anything to earn this it simply already IS.  The Wonder of creation and the Divine fills you. It is the essence of you and can fuel the life that you desire to live if you will let it. Let go of any notion that you have to DO something to be as you already are-full of wonder! Any success or accomplishments adds to what you already are it doesn't create it. 

We all want to be successful and to be significant. We want to know that we matter. But success on the worlds terms isn't what creates your value-you were born valuable. What you create with it is totally up to you! 

In Dessert, 

Leisa Monique


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Right Where You're Supposed To Be...


Magnificent Monday to you. Today I'm reposting a piece that I wrote back in 2010. As I meditated on what I wanted to share with you the message in this piece kept coming up and I knew that I was to share it again. I know that for some of you this is exactly what you need. I know I certainly needed to be reminded of it! 
Leisa 



As I sit here and watch the sun rising I realize that at this moment, there is no place that I'd rather be! There is nothing that I'd rather be doing but sitting here in the stillness of the early morning marveling at the purplish, blue sky that is reminding me of the intelligence of the universe and that everything is as it should be because the Divine is as it should be. There is no place I'd rather be!

I haven't always felt this way! There have been some days when I got off center and looked around me and saw my life and started to think that I should be much "farther along"' than where I am. A few days ago I was talking with the luv of my life and listening to him as he shared some of the disappointments that he has with himself. He expressed disappointment with some of the choices that he has made in his life and how he feels that these choices are responsible for his not being farther along in his life.

As I quietly listened to him express his thoughts my heart began to ache for him and for the countless numbers of people in the world who for whatever reason feel like they should be somewhere else in their lives; who feel like they should be doing something different than what they are doing.

I remembered feeling that way. I remembered the guilt and the sadness and even the embarrassment that came along with it. But what I remember the most about that place is coming to the realization that the choices and the decisions that I had made in my life up to that point were precisely the reason that I was who I was at that moment! I remember talking with God and expressing my own disappointment with some of the choices I had made and Him gently showing me that through all of those experiences that came along with those choices, I had become a better person! I had experienced growth from the pain of those decisions! I had evolved because of those decisions! I had learned from those experiences! Those "bad" decisions and choices had played a major part in shaping my character!!

Through the pain and suffering that came with some of the choices that I have made in my life, I have become more compassionate, more loving, more understanding and more tolerant of people and where they are in their lives. I have become a person of great character and I attribute it to the experiences of my life that those choices and decisions brought with them.

Perhaps you are looking at your life and thinking that you should be in a different job, have more money in your bank account, own your own home by now or are regretting a relationship that you had and if only you had not made THAT decision you would be much farther along in your life right now. But I'm here to tell you that YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE!!

God doesn't make mistakes! And if we begin to look at our life and at the "mistakes" that we have made along the way we will see that we have actually learned from them. How many times have you done something that has not turned out to be that great and you realized that it is something that you will never do again?! You learned from that "mistake" and therefore can't call it a "mistake" at all! Its a life lesson! Even if you have found yourself doing the "same thing" over again there is still growth to be made from it.

Let me use the anology of lifting weights to drive my point home. Whether you are beginning a weight lifting routine or are experienced in the area, stay with me now, and are moving up to "heavier weight" there will be pain that comes with that heavy weight. Lifting weight actually tears your muscle fiber and anyone who has ever had any experience with working out for the first time or moving up to heavier weight than they are used to can tell you that major soreness sets in a couple of days later. The pain sometimes causes you to rethink and even regret the decision to exercise at all or to "go heavier."

But it is in THIS pain that your muscles actually "grow". It is the tearing of the muscle fibers that the weight causes that also causes the growth! How you ask? When your muscle fibers are torn your body begins the process of healing itself. Your body draws on the protein stores that is has to rebuild the muscle that has been torn from lifting the heavy weight. The result of the "healing" is that your muscles grow bigger because protein is being added to repair the torn muscle. That is why body builders are willing to go through the temporary pain they will experience from the heavier weight for they know that the growth they are going to have far outweighs the pain they feel in the ensuing moments.They know that the potential to be bigger and in their eyes, better, is there and they are willing to go through it to be bigger and better.

What does that have to do with you and where you are in your life? The "bad" decisions that you have made in your life, and will continue to make if you are human, are your weight! It will be these decisions that often bring pain and suffering with them that will also cause you to grow and to evolve. Does that mean you should just go around making bad decisions in order to grow? Of course not, but what it does mean is that on those occasions that you do make a decision or a choice that turns out to not be so good, understand that it will be from those decisions that you will also experience growth.

So instead of looking back on your life with regret, look back and marvel at how far you have come! look at the amazing person that you have grown to be! look at the character that has developed from those decisions! Look at the compassion that you now feel for others! Look at the wisdom that you now have! Look at the lessons that you have learned and the better choices that you will now make because of those lessons!

Hold your head up high, forgive yourself and flex the spiritual muscles that you have developed from the pain of the weight that you have lifted in your life. Know that at this moment everything in your life is as it should be and had it not been for those decisions you would not have grown into the person that stares back at you in the mirror of life. You are magnificent! You are marvelous! YOU ARE RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE!
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Have a Wonder-Filled Day Luving Your SELF First!


 “Something inside you emerges….an innate, indwelling peace, stillness, aliveness. It is the unconditioned, who you are in your essence. It is what you had been looking for in the love object. It is yourself.”
- Eckhart Tolle

“Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
- Rumi, thirteenth century Sufi poet

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” 
― Steve Maraboli

As we celebrate the day of luv remember to honor, luv and accept your SELF right where you are. SELF is the core of who you are, you essence your Divinity. Accept it, luv it and honor it for doing so you are honoring the God in you!

Do something nice for your SELF: rest, take a hot bath, dance, read a book, listen to soothing music...give your SELF a break from the stress and strain of life and give your SELF something wonder-filled.

I do hope that while you are expressing luv to those in your circle that you will take the time to give luv to your SELF.

HVD,

Leisa
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Luv Letter to The Divine...and YOU!


Magnificent Monday to you! I trust that all of you are having a wonder-filled new year thus far and looking forward to reaching the goals that YOU set for your SELF. 

I wanted to take a moment to tell you all how much I appreciate each one of you and your support for my work. We are getting exposure from friends all over the world...literally. It blesses me when I see that people in Iceland, China, Brazil, Indonesia, South Africa, Japan, Canada, the U.S and many other places have logged on and been encouraged by what they see. I write for YOU! I share my experiences so that you all know that if you are experiences particular challenges in life that you can find support and encouragement knowing that much of what you are experiencing, others have experienced it too. As I always say, you are right where you are supposed to be! 

I'm sharing one of my favorite female singers with you this morning. The one and only Phyllis Hyman singing one of my morning meditation tunes. This song puts me in a space of gratitude and appreciation for the Divine and for all of the luv that I feel for you every day. I really do feel that those of us who connect here on EMDF do in fact share a Sacred kind of Luv. I feel it every time I log on and I hope you do as well. 

Take a moment and enjoy this piece and bask in the luv that the Divine has for you. Know that you do not walk this path of life alone but that the Divine walks with you every step of the way and that whatever you need is already fulfilled. Enjoy your journey and have some Dessert along the way! 




Sacred Kind of Love
Grover Washington, Jr. with Phyllis Hyman

Some people live their lives 
In such a lofty flight
Wishing the distant stars daydreaming
What a lovely world
You make it paradise
I’m a lucky girl
Everything feels so nice

CHORUS
Don’t you know that we share a blessed love
Don’t you know that we have it all
Don’t you know that we share compassion love, ooh, ooh
Don’t you know that we share a sacred kind of love

Being here with you
I bask inside your glow
Somehow I wish the whole wide world could know
What a gift you are
Angel from up above
So good so far
Thank you for honest love

CHORUS
Don’t you know that we share a blessed love
Don’t you know that we have it all
Don’t you know that we share compassion love
Don’t you know that we share a sacred kind of love


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This New Year, Take Care Of Your SELF!


Wishing you all a peaceful and prosperous year. As you move forward in the new year please remember to be gentle with yourself. Let go of any lingering judgement or guilt that you may have as a result of not achieving all of the goals that you set for yourself last year. Take a moment and write down all of the things that you DID achieve no matter how small or big you think they are. I'm not just talking about accomplishments like getting a new job or starting a business. Those things are great but what personal accomplishments did you make? Be sure to write them down and congratulate yourself on them.

One of the things that I decided to do for my SELF last year was to create space for and give myself permission to feel my emotions. No matter what I was dealing with I decided that I would allow myself to feel and experience it without judgement. I also decided that I would create a candidate training program outline and I did. To some, those might not be big things but they were not meant to be either big or small but rather goals that worked for me.

That leads me to my next point for you: make your goals for the new year YOUR goals and not what the culture of this society tells you they should be. Don't allow anyone else to tell you that you should be in a better job, relationship, house or anything else unless YOU want to be and believe me, YOU will know when the time is right for these things so trust your SELF for guidance!

 We all know deep down within ourselves what it is that we truly want but we sometimes allow others or the culture to tell us that we should be desiring something else. Something more in line with what others have or where others are. Trust your SELF to guide your goals for the new year. After all, no one knows you better than you.

I hope that as you move through the new year that you will truly take time to do something for your SELF. What I mean by that is do what will satisfy your soul-your SELF. Often we set goals thinking that achieving them will bring us the peace and happiness we desire but sometimes the goals are set for superficial reasons. For example, I have a friend who is overweight. Every year she sets a goal to lose weight and never achieves the goal. After seeing her anguish about it I finally asked her why she wanted to lose the weight. Her reasons were because she was tired of being the "fat" girl in the room and because people said she should. So I asked her why she hadn't lost the weight. She said she couldn't and cited medical problems, time and all sorts of other stuff. But after digging deeper I discovered  that she was grossly insecure and she was able to hide behind her weight. By being overweight people focused on her weight and not on HER. She was afraid that she was inadequate and the weight gave her an excuse to go unnoticed. Losing the weight would cause people to "see" and pay attention to her (she's gorgeous by the way) and that scared her because of her lack of confidence in herself. She sabotaged her goal of losing weight every year because she hadn't figured out what it was that she really wanted which was to be confident in her SELF..

So I beseech you, if you've set resolutions ( I hate those) or goals for yourself for the new year, to dig deep and find out why you have set those particular goals. Are they "cover" goals hiding something within or are they truly what you want for your SELF? If they are "cover" goals chances are that you will sabotage them and fail to achieve them. But if you have discovered what it is deep down inside that you truly want and you set a goal to achieve THAT, you will have a better chance at success. If it's confidence that you really want a better job, house, car or relationship isn't going to give it to you!

If you need help finding out what it is that you really want for your SELF I am always here to assist you. Hit the contact button at the end of this post and fill out the information to reach me. Or I can be reached at leisa@eatmydessertfirst.com.

I truly do wish you the best year of your life. May you discover all that you truly want and desire for your SELF and may you learn to trust and believe in that SELF! As always, take time to Eat Your Dessert First and start your day off with something wonderful!

Leisa
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They're Family, What Can I say?!





“I sustain myself with the love of family.” 
― Maya Angelou

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” 
― George Burns

“There’s nothing that makes you more insane than family. Or more happy. Or more exasperated. Or more . . . secure.” 
― Jim ButcherPublicity and Advertising

“Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” 
― Anthony Brandt


It's Christmas eve and at the last minute I decided to make the three and a half hour drive home to spend Christmas with my family. Normally I spend Christmas alone-don't worry, it's my choice. My children spend Christmas with their father and then visit my parents and I get to stay home and watch Christmas luv stories, bake cookies and eat whatever I want. It's my own tradition that I have created for myself.

But my mother has been bugging asking  me to come home to spend Christmas with the family. Now I gotta tell you, my family is "special." Not like holiday T.V show special but more like different or not normal kind of special. But I guess any of us can make this claim about our family and probably do. I typically can spend about, mmmmmmm, half hour with my family before I've had enough shenanigans and am ready to head home to sin city. Living here is actually not as bad as spending extended periods of time with my family.

It's been a very long time since I have been home with my parents and siblings for Christmas and thinking about it brings up fond memories of Christmas' past and gives me chills at the same time. Aaaahhh, Christmas with the fam! Yep, there is no place I'd rather be than listening to my mother share with me her latest health discovery by her doctor all while smoking a cigarette and then listen to her complain about how she is the only one who cooks and cleans and how she is tired of everyone coming to HER house to celebrate the holidays and expecting her to cook huge meals. This is the same woman who complains if no one comes to her house to celebrate the holidays and eat "all this food" that she took the time to cook.

My brothers? Well, lets just say that it's a special treat to spend time in their presence. It's quite fascinating actually. I have never seen such a colorful bunch of folks streaming in and out of my parents house as I do when my brothers are home. It's not unusual to have extra "family" members and fiance's whom we have never met before until they show up with my brothers for the holidays calling my parents mom and dad and me sis. My mother, with her complaining luving self, always has extra gifts to give these "children" and future daughters-in-law of hers. You see, there is rarely a day that goes by that the UPS delivery driver doesn't show up at her door with multiple packages for her from one of the home shopping networks. From hedge trimmers (she doesn't have any hedges) to watches to cookware to complete skincare sets, my mother has it all tucked away in boxes underneath her bed and in the closets in EVERY room of the house. Ask her "what's in the box(s) mom" and she will tell you that she has no idea and you will have to open it to see. She's retired what can I say. My children absolutely luv to go to granny's house! They've come home plenty of times after visiting my parents and say "mom,  look what granny gave me!"  What the h*** does a kid need with hedge trimmers?!

My father? Well lets just say that he spends most of his time sitting on the back patio listening to country music and complaining about my mother and how much of HIS money she spends. To let him tell it he has no ides what she does with HER money and can't understand why she's always broke. Everyday he's fed up with her and his grown sons (who keep moving back home to save money so they can launch their latest entrepreneurial endeavor) and moving to a senior citizens home. He claims that the only one who listens to him is my 8 year old son whom he has declared is his best friend. and when they're together it's country music, coffee (yes, he gives my son coffee...watered down hopefully of course. what can I say, he's my dad) and sitting in the back yard telling stories. My son tells lies stories just as good as my 78 year old father can. Yes, poppi has taught him well!

And then there's me. I swear I'm adopted sometimes. At least I'd like to think I am but the fact that, according to my mother, I look "just like my father" and according to my father I look "just like my mother" gives it away that I was actually born into this circus family. The birth certificate with my and my parent's  names on it that my mother proudly displays doesn't help either.  And you know what, I luv them with all my heart and  honestly, there is no place I'd rather be than with my family...sometimes.

So whether you celebrate Christmas or not you can always celebrate and cherish your family. Because when it's all said and done, no one will talk about you luv you more with all of your faults and defects than your family will. No one will encourage or celebrate you more than your family. No one will be there to pick you up when you fall and push you to try again when you just want to give up more than your family will. No one!  So take time today to tell your family how much you luv and appreciate them. Then go and have some dessert! You're gonna need it!

Leisa




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Keep Calm and Give Luv!







“Christmas doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more....” 
― Dr. SeussHow the Grinch Stole Christmas

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” 
― Calvin Coolidge

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?” 
― Bob Hope

“Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves." 
~ (1912-1992), American newscaster. ” 

― Eric Sevareid


Recently, I saw a blog post from one of the sites that I follow and a mother asked the question: "What can I get my children for Christmas since we have very little money?" She went on to say that there had been some  issue with their truck being stolen with some money that they had saved up inside of the truck. This mother was worried that she had nothing to give her children.

I'm a mother of four children ranging in age from 8-14. Since they have been born I have raised them to understand what I believe the meaning of Christmas to be: giving luv and giving gifts from the heart. I have only ever bought my children three gifts (no electronics) each and there have been some years when they didn't even get that many.

When we were going through our divorce a few years ago, there were times when all we could do in our house was give luv: we created family traditions and thought of creative ways to show each other how much we luv'd them and the people in our lives. This year for Christmas, my children baked cookies and gave them as gifts to all of their friends and teachers along with holiday cards and hand written notes about how much their friends mean to them.

The above quote about Christmas being a state of mind, I think, is perfect to drive home the point that Christmas really isn't about how much money we need to spend on people to show them that we luv and value them. It's sad to me that we have made what should be a time of celebrating the value and luv that we have for each other into a time of superficiality and commercialism. It amazes me how much stress we create in our lives because we don't have the money to buy friends and family lavish gifts. Parents go into debt each year trying to buy their kids everything that their kids ask for including expensive electronic gadgets that cost more than some families utility bills. In tough economic times like the ones we're in who can afford to do that?

I do hope that for those of us who celebrate Christmas, we will make this a time of simply giving that part of ourselves that money can't buy and spreading kindness. The world is hurting right now and this is the perfect time of year to heal yourself and thus do your part to heal the world. No matter what religion you are or what your faith is, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, you can still be a part of the celebration of luv. Take time to encourage someone you know has been having a tough time. Kind words are often so much more valuable than material things. Tell someone how beautiful, amazing, and talented they are. If you have a particular skill, offer to share your skill and help someone for free who could use your services.

There are so many things that we can give to uplift someone and encourage them in the name of luv. My advice to the mother who asked what to get her children for Christmas is to instill in them a sense of worth. Tell them how amazing they are. Write them a note and tell them how much you luv and value them. Bake some cookies, pop some popcorn and watch movies. One thing I have learned on this journey of motherhood is that once the toys are all broken and the electronics no longer work children will always remember the time they spent with you and how you made them feel! So will everyone else!

In luv,
Leisa
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